Bronze Division Summer '25 Championship: Swifties Shake It Off and Take the Title

If you thought hockey and Taylor Swift couldn’t mix, the Bronze Division Finals just proved you wrong. The Swifties pulled off a 4-3 shootout win over Flying Circus in the most on-brand way possible—dramatic, messy, and filled with callbacks.

First, let’s clear up the record: the official gamesheet claims the tying goal came in overtime. False. The Swifties tied it late in the third, because of course they wanted the maximum drama. OT was just a blank space, leading us straight into the shootout.

Flying Circus actually controlled most of the game early. Their goalie, playing his first-ever season in net, made some surprisingly sharp saves but also looked like he was just figuring out which pads went where. Mike “Gonzo” Gonzalez, who literally started this league a decade ago before pulling a Tom Brady-esque “retirement,” scored twice and looked like he was having the time of his life skating with his co-workers.

But the Swifties had the ultimate Swiftie, Captain Stephanie Jeffrey, steering the vibes. She’s the kind of leader who probably has friendship bracelets for the entire roster and motivational speeches that sound suspiciously like song lyrics. Her squad clawed back with goals from James Malamas, Matt Taylor (yes, that’s his actual last name, and yes, the puns are endless), and Steve Olzinski—who played hero in both regulation and the shootout.

Speaking of the shootout: Steve Olzinski buried the only tally, while Flying Circus went 0-for-3 like they were stuck in their "All Too Well" 10-minute version of misery. James Malamas and Heather Ritter missed their attempts, but who cares? The headline is Swifties Win. Cue the confetti.

So the Swifties are your Bronze Division champs. They were down, they came back, they won it in the shootout. Somewhere, Taylor Swift herself is probably writing a breakup ballad about Flying Circus’s chances. Meanwhile, Stephanie Jefferies and her squad are just out here proving hockey’s not ready for it, but they’re doing it anyway.

Final score: 4-3 (SO), Swifties. Bronze Division belongs to Taylor Nation now. Consider this their official entry into the Champions Era.