Iron Division Championship Ends With Broken Wings Triumph

In a game that combined the elegance of a giraffe on ice skates and the precision of juggling chainsaws, the Broken Wings soared (or rather stumbled gracefully) to a 3-1 victory over the Jackwagons in the Havoc League Iron Division Fall/Winter 24/25 championship.

The Jackwagons took an early lead when Jeff Ortel, defying gravity and logic, managed to send the puck into the net at 13:15 of the first period, assisted beautifully by Caleb Walton, who seemed equally surprised by his own pinpoint accuracy.

However, the Wings refused to remain broken, mounting a second-period comeback that looked less like coordinated hockey and more like a synchronized slip-and-slide. Jimmy Karigan tied the game at 10:37, thanks to a pass from Brett Mcwilliams, who appeared to have temporarily borrowed someone else's stick skills.

Barely catching their breath from celebrations (and the exertion), Mcwilliams decided he'd enjoy scoring too, netting one himself just 48 seconds later, assisted by Jason Peaslee and Patryk Tryburski, both clearly surprised at their accidental teamwork.

At 5:05 in the second, Mcwilliams struck again, aided by Jimmy Karigan, who at this point might as well have been blindfolded and spinning. Notably, both Mcwilliams and Karigan were former Jackwagons, adding a touch of poetic justice to their performance.

The third period was an exhibition of pure chaos. Penalties for tripping and holding came thick and fast as players from both sides seemed more interested in testing the ice's friction coefficient than playing hockey. At one point, Matt Ryan of Broken Wings served two minutes for what appeared to be an accidental ballet maneuver.

Jackwagons and Broken Wings both finished with nearly identical shot counts (19 and 20, respectively), though many of these "shots" seemed more like accidental puck deflections than intentional plays.

The final buzzer rang out amidst laughter, high-fives, and a few confused looks, as the Broken Wings celebrated a Havoc League Iron Division championship that will surely be remembered—mostly because someone probably caught it on camera for future blackmail.

Congratulations to the Broken Wings.